Randomness for the day...

I really don't know what to talk about. I have a ton of things going on through my mind as usual. There will be some people in my family that won't be too thrilled but I'm doing it for the sanity of MY family (my husband, my son, our dogs, and myself) I am going to finally fill the prescription of Lexapro that my OB/GYN gave me in October. I've never been one for taking drugs that "alter" you. I hated being put under for dental surgery and having to use painkillers that was a few years ago. I've just never been for stuff like that for me. But after the last few days, I realize for every one's sanity I do need it. It's not going to affect my breastfeeding or my Dr wouldn't have prescribed it. I believe that I have a mild case of PPD, I get frustrated more easily and want to cry all the time. I used to have a good control over my temper and now I can blow up at the littlest thing. If one of the dogs walks the wrong direction I get upset. I've tried for 4 months without the stuff and now I'm going to try it. I just feel like it is getting worse for me and I'm not perfect and neither are a lot of things I do, but I have a happy mellow child and he's the light of my life and he makes me smile and understand the true meaning of unconditional love (I love my dogs unconditionally always have it's different when you give birth, for those who haven't). But I want my son to see me in a better state of mind, I've never yelled at him he's 4 months old, he's seen me cry which I don't like. I don't yell, if I do he's not in the same room, I'm a soft speaker anyway but still. Grayson doesn't need that, no one in this house (including the dogs) needs me in a constant negative state or close to always being in a negative state.

I have my time for prayer, I love reading to Grayson (we're reading Harry Potter, along with books 'more his speed"), I even try to make time to show the dogs some love which Jackson thrives on, he's my shadow unless Big Grayson is sleeping then he's with Gracie and daddy. Both dogs are quite adjusted to the baby now. Jackson will even let him pet him (obviously with help) Gracie loves licking his hands, I always have a wash cloth ready nowadays. Well, I'm going to need to run. Those who read this please pray for us. There's more involved that I will elaborate on at a later date. If you don't pray, send happy thoughts our way. Thanks for reading.