Still trying to control my depression. I have my down moments but we are even stronger at recognizing the warning signs. It really gets bad around that time of the month for me. My meds are still working and my therapist is so busy it's a hit or miss. But I see him at least once a week even if it is just a few minutes. He's a pastor at the church I attend. Some people would cringe at the thought of seeing a therapist/counselor that is Christian, let alone one of your pastors. It works for me.
God really has blessed us. I am working really hard to repay his love and the blessings he's bestowed upon my family. It really is because of God that we are where we are in our lives. We still fall and falter knowing that we aren't the best but I see SO MANY gifts that he's given us, especially in the last 6 years.
Two beautiful and really great kids. For the longest time I didn't think we were going to have children. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2006 and because of my age thought that was the end of it. I had heard that once you have an ectopic pregnancy your chances of having another increase. Then while dancing with my husband at his company's Christmas Party, we said that if we had to adopt a child we would. A few months later, 2 days before my birthday, 2 years to the date of "dissolving" the remnants of the ectopic pregnancy, I hear my now almost 6 year old's heart beat for the first time. I am crying just thinking about it.
Then almost 3 years after that, a couple of moves, a career change, and another pregnancy. We now have our almost 3 year old. Wow. Just thinking about it still keeps me shaking my head. As frustrating as it can get, I love those 2 kids with all my heart. They are sweet and caring but they are also independent, stubborn, and emotional. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
My husband? Wow, what a transformation. He is amazing. Yes, we still get on each others' nerves but at the end of the day I really can't see me living without him. He's been my calm through this past stormy year for me. He's the head of the house, he is our spiritual leader.
Yes, I am talking about God a lot. You know what? I am NOT ashamed that I am a Christian. I believe in the Bible, I believe that NO ONE is perfect, and half the time I think most people are better than I am. I have sins just like everyone else.
Most of the Christians that I know really aren't a bunch of stuck up snobs, who think that they are better than everyone else. Don't get me wrong, sadly they are out there and that's what everyone else likes to use as an example. Then you have people like that group from Kansas (I refuse to say the name because they have twisted God's word, in my opinion), that even non-Christians can't explain them.
I would like to open up a dialogue with you all. If you have any questions for me I will try to answer them to the best of my ability. I just ask you to please show respect to myself and others and you will get the same respect back.
So, I leave it to you if you wish to ask me a question. I won't judge you, I'm honest. What's the point really, it won't make either of us feel better. I don't like hurting people or being hurt. Yes, I know it's a part of life. But, if I have the option of not trying to hurt someone, then I will work my hardest not to hurt someone. Also, if I can't answer a question I will be honest in that and not make up some random crap.
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